The Year the Violets Bloomed in Winter
by Usagi's Oven
Summary: The story of an eleven year old girl trying to keep a smiling face during some of the hardest times in her life
1. ~Prologue~

~Prologue~

_~Prologue~_

The world is forever changing, and I always feel like I'm watching it through a pane of glass. The world can see me, and I can see the world, but I can only see; I can't touch. Maybe that's why I'm so different. Maybe. 

I remember that Momma used to say as a baby I was very subdued, very quiet, and very angelic looking. Before she died. After that, Papa got remarried, of course and I was sent to a boarding school. Needless to say Emily wasn't sent to a boarding school. Papa's favorite, his cherub. I knew why too, it was because Emily wasn't really Momma's baby. Only I knew this, and I wasn't supposed to tell a soul. But I did in spite of Papa's warnings. I told Luccietta, and I got twelve switches for it, I was seven of course.

So now here I am counting the windows in the big dorm house, waiting for Papa, Emily, and Nancy (Papa's little new wife) to pick me up. They aren't on time as usual, and I don't care because I hate going home. Every thing is a reminder of Momma. And a reminder of Momma is a reminder that she died. The only thing I like about going home is seeing Luccietta, my best friend (even though I suffered twelve switches from telling her Emily's secret) my confidant. 

"I wish I lived a faery-tale, wish I wasn't m-e-e. Wish I lived on the clouds. Wish that I could be-e-e!" I sang, Momma made up that song when I was a little girl. Emily hated it, and I would sing it the whole long time I was there, and maybe Emily would just go away, and leave me alone. And maybe then if Emily was gone Papa would love me best, and maybe my faery-tale would come true. I heard the sound of Papa's car horn, and rushed out into the Georgian sunshine humming Momma's song quietly. Pretending she were with me, holding my hand every step of the way. 


	2. Where Are My Rainbows?

~1~

** **

**~1~**

Where are my Rainbows?

"Sand-e-e! I don't know what to wear!" Emily whined, turning her pretty little face into a prune like form.

"And since when do ask for my advise Emily?"

"You're my sister! My older sister! Older sisters are 'sposed to help me with this stuff!" I have to tell you that it was on the tip of my tongue to say "only half sister" but those kinds of petty things are for Emily to do … not me. Since she's the pretty prissy perfect popular one (even though she got a D- on her last report card in math, if I got a D-, or even a C Papa would whip me hard. You know Emily didn't even get scolded for it either!) I have to be obedient, intelligent, and (UGH!) 'just as pretty' which is an impossibility 'cause I know I'm prettier (hope I'm prettier) than Emily. You know why? It's 'cause I look like Momma, who I will bet a lot was much prettier than whatever whore was Emily's mother. 

I hope Emily falls on her face in right in front of the world so we all can laugh I thought scornfully. But of course she won't, she's Papa's favorite, and he would catch her. I bet he wouldn't do that for me. I also bet that he would if Emily were gone. 

"Sandie! Aren't ya' listening?" I rolled my eyes.

"Yes sister dear." I said flatly.

"Good 'cause I need some more advise … what'd you think about this com—"

"Emily! That's MY blouse! I've been missing it! Where was it?"

"Candice borrowed it …" I snatched it out of her hands to see if there were any stains or anything on it. There was a big spot on the inside lining.

"Emily! This was new! You let one of your piddly little stupid friends borrow it? I was 'sposed to wear this to Nan's wedding!" I held the loose garment in front of me, my eyes raging. I'll bet they looked as if there was little bonfires burning on the inside of them.

"I'm sorry Sandie" she whined pitifully, her nasal little tone seemed to be working overtime.

"Sorry ain't enough! This cost fifty-two dollars—of my own money!" I stormed, happy I finally had something to get Emily in trouble with. "I'm tellin' Papa!" (I should have known better! Papa didn't do anything!) So I marched right up to Papa in his den, and know what he said? He said he'd buy me a new one! Of all the nerve, Emily won't ever get in trouble I bet. That's not fair though 'cause I get in trouble for every little thing … even some of the stuff Emily does. Like for instance if Emily forgets to do her chores because she was out late with Mercy It's MY fault, because I'm not watching her well enough! Or if she breaks something it's MY fault 'cause I put it in an 'inconvenient' place. That's another thing, they all (Nancie, Papa, all of them) think I'm Emily's maid! Emily should be my maid … and she should clean the toilets, and wash my clothes, and do MY chores along with her own, while I read fan magazines and drink soda pop with Luccietta, and Kellie. And we'll laugh and laugh at her because she'll chip her pretty nail polish, and wear maids' clothes and carry a feather duster … and—and she'll have to listen to Momma's song all day and sing along, and go to church every Sunday and sit in the back pews with Nancie while me and Papa sit in the front and the preacher compliments ME on how pretty I am, not Emily.

I looked out the window at the cloudy dark sky, and the crispy new autumn leaves on the ground and wondered if Emily gets all these happy days and Rainbows, where are all mine?

"You'll get them someday Sandie." A voice said.

"Did you hear that?" I asked Emily.

"Hear what?"

"Nothing" I said, and looked back through the window just then the sunshine peaked through the thick dreary clouds, and a rainbow shimmered though the sky, a rainbow that I knew meant the voice was telling the truth. And all along I knew the voice was Momma.

** **

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End file.
